Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Your Next American Idol is Scotty "George W" McCreery!

       Well America, your next Idol Scotty McCreery is ready to "strategerize" his way to the top of the music charts so he can "practice his love with the women all across the country." 
You gonna kiss me or not?
Scott McCreery, anointed by Fox as the next great country star has been subject to the question he may be the love child of none other than "#43" George W. Bush.  Could this be "truthificated?" Could a questionable action 17 years ago by the "W" be "revealified?"  Of course, in this day and age of politics its impossible to believe that a government leader could have a love child and keep it a secret for over a decade (Right Arnold?). Well, short of demanding a birth certificate (long form) and DNA test, we can use the same method legal courts used to determine "paternal relations" before there were DNA tests: by looking at the person-in-question next to the possible father (Maury Povich style) and having a jury vote yes or no. Therefore, I am entering the following exhibits into evidence, may it please the internet.
Scotty McCreery was recently asked about his likeness to the past President, and he had this to say, "Heck, y'all know I'm just a simple southern boy from the south, I don't think I have anything in common with President Bush.  I mean, I like baseball and country music brother, President Bush doesn't like those things, right? Also, I've heard his Spanglish, and its way better than mine, amigo."  So I guess that settles it.

Scotty McCreery also said he plans to continue to win the "hearts and minds" of his fans with creepy eyebrow movements, masculine skipping around the stage, and of course, holding his microphone like he is blowing a flute.  This is your new country star America!